Anna's Teapot

Most kids look forward to their birthdays. They're all about getting gifts, spending quality time with their relatives or friends, and basically just getting to choose where to go, what to eat, etc. I hate birthdays, and probably always will. It doesn't help being one of six kids, where birthdays seem to come every other day, or being homeschooled when all of your friends are related to you by blood, or being a bit on the poor side (unless you're Zach and don't understand money) and your cake usually tastes like wet cardboard. (Yes, mom, I can tell the difference between the name brand cake. And why did we even have waffle cone blueberry frozen yogurt? Who even made that crap?) 

On one of my more *memorable* birthdays grandma was taking me shopping(?!?) to get NEW pants. This does not sound like a big deal, but this is the first memory I have of going to a store and picking something out that hadn't been 'pre-loved.' Which was a big deal to my nine-year-old self. I had also just started going to school outside of the home, which meant I had realized that there were social standards, and levels to society that I had never comprehended before. Cool kids were a thing, and I was increasingly aware of how different I was from them all. So, getting new pants was kind of like getting to taste the good life, the cool kids life, all that bull crap. 

So grandma, Anna (who was basically my other half for the first nine fifteen twenty years of my life), and I were going to the MALL (again, big effing deal) to buy pants that I got to pick out. Well, sort of. First grandma asks me what I want, and I say 'Khakis.' Because all of the cool guys (yes, I was a tom-boy, and was asked multiple times whether I was a girl or a boy.. by strangers... in public..)wore these zip-off khakis and I wanted some zip-off pants but couldn't bring myself to ask for something so extravagant, so I just said khakis. Simple, plain, ordinary khakis. 

Grandma did not approve. She showed me dresses, which Anna loved (Yes, grandma also let Anna pick out some matching sunflower dresses for us because the ones I liked were 'whorish'... being black and white and literally identical to the ones Anna picked in every other way), some jeans that were cheaper than khakis, and finally she found me a couple pairs of khakis to try on. I remember being overwhelmed, grabbing one and just deciding on it probably within half a second before I got guilt-tripped into buying those dang jeans. I am fairly certain she sighed, probably also grunted, and agreed to pay for them, all the while commenting on how expensive they were for pants. They were probably about $10. Seriously.
I was ecstatic to have my first pair of cool, new pants. 

Until we got back to grandmas. 

Grandma told us to go into the kitchen because she had a surprise. Again, this was my birthday, I was still naive enough to think it might be a dessert or something to celebrate. She showed us a teapot. That she bought for herself. It had a matching cozy, which is basically an ugly hat to keep the teapot and the tea warm while you sip it for hours on end. Next to her ugly hat and teapot was second teapot complete with ugly hat. 

"Anna, I bought this teapot and cozy and thought you would like one for your tea parties that you throw! And it was $40.00 for just the teapot, but it is a really nice one."

Then we had a tea party...

For the record: I went back to grandma's when everyone was cleaning out her house, and I went to take her teapot and cozy, but it was old, rotten, and gross so I left it on the shelf.